To answer this question, we have to study the secrets of the humain brain -neuroscience- and how it works in our daily life.

Losing weight, stop smoking, taking action… anything we can have as a goal, represent our first step.

You have determined your goal, therefore you know your objective, your destination, but consciously.

You should be aware too that in order to reach your destination, you need to change your daily grind. For example if you want to lose weight you must change your way of eating, less junk food, drink more water, working out and so on and so forth, otherwise nothing will occur.

Nevertheless why is it so hard to change your habits then?

The problem is, even though you do know consciously what you should be doing, it’s hard to do it because you have been used to acting in the same way for too long, your bad habits are ingrained in yourself.

You have been doing the same actions for so long that is very hard to change, it is why it so difficult to lose weight, stop smoking, change your life, take up new skill, literally everything.

Either you procrastinate or you do not take action whatsoever which is pretty much the same by the way. On second thoughts you do nothing.

What usually happens to everyone actually?

People use their will, their longing at their conscious level, with a great motivation moreover. Nonetheless your habits are hidden in your subconsciuous mind, and you have striven to use your conscious mind to fight fiercely your subconscious habits.

It may work in the first place but later on not at all.

Then you have probably noticed that in the beginning you make some changes, but shortly afterwards you go back to square one.

It is hard to carry on with new habits because you get out of your comfort zone, you have to make some efforts, and unfortunately after more or less a short period of time it is much easier to go back to your old habits, you have dramatically given up then.

You do not like the result but you feel comfortable again.

The reality shows that it is what happens in the vast majority of cases.

Why is your willpower not strong enough to change your habits and reach your goal?

At the beginning that was your goal however, it was your desire, what you really did want.

Did you really want that outcome?

Are you fulfilled and happy with where you are right now? Certainly not!

Why has it not worked then ?

Here is the explanation, neuroscientists call this mental process, how your brain functions, “The habit loop”.

You need so as to overcome this hurdle to feed your subconscious mind consistently, that means you must feed your mind long enough to make sure that the new information will take place and take over the old paradigm.

It is the only effective and proven method which trully does work.

Guess what hypnosis does?

It bypasses the conscious mind in order to feed and deliver suggestions to the subconscious mind to make behaviours, demeanours, bad habits, addictions, change. It is by the way more and more used and widespread throughout the world, even in hospitals.

Scientists claim that we never change things by fighting the existing reality, to change something build a new model that makes the exixting model obsolete.

You have to sow in your subconscious mind first to reap later in your visible world.

Here is a chart which outlines how the mind works:

The conscious mind (the top half of the head) is the Thinking Mind and the subconscious mind (the bottom half of the head) is the Conditioned Mind which causes your Results (R).

So, it looks like this:

Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Results

« There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge »             Napoleon Hill

There are several methods to feed your subconscious mind: hypnosis, visualisation, incantation, auto-suggestion, reading consistently, listening to audios…

The key is to do so repeatedly.

To change your habits, first work on you subconscious mind, second be surrounded by people who are very supportive, who will back you up no matter what.

When people want to change their habits, lose weight, stop drinking for instance, there are some supportive groups like Weight Watchers, Alcoholics Anonymous which are very helpful because they stand by you. It works very effectively to wipe out old habits.

Take a glance at this article « The power of environment in order to reach your goal  »

There is no secret, if you want to change your life you have to make some changes, if you continue to do the same actions and expecting a different result nothing will change.

Successful people are willing to DO what makes them feel uncomfortable in the interest of growth.

Nothing will change until you do.

Take action then!

To your success

Take care

F&F Consulting
Communication Marketing Consulting

Cet article Why is it so hard to change your habits? est apparu en premier sur F&F Consulting.

Self-confidence is probably the most important thing in life so as to acquire new skills and be successful.

On the whole, we can easily say that everybody on planet earth needs more confidence. What I mean by that, even though you are proficient at something or great in any activity, you can always increase your self-confidence.

It is endless actually, you must work on it all the time in order to make it go through the roof.

As I have already said in several articles success is 80% psychology 20% the mechanics. Psychology is emotion, thoughts, beliefs, attitude, motivation…

So even if you are the best tennis player in the world, psychology is what makes you succeed or not. At that level each champion is more or less as good as the competitor in front of him or her. Neither of them is streets ahead of the other, psychology mainly makes the difference. It is the reason why they all have mental coaches in order to overcome some hurdles, and that really makes the difference.

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is a psychology aspect which allows anyone to do something easily, without fear, and without thinking he might fail. High level of self-confidence makes you achieve anything in life, low level of self-confidence makes you probably fail.

How can you acquire self-confidence?

There are two main ways so as to acquire self-confidence. One of them is experience, the other way is mark of gratitude.

Experience

By doing the same action over and over and over again, you will be more and more confident and proficient. I explained that in my article “The four steps of success” (have a look at it). In doing so over and over again you get unconscious competence, things are done automatically, naturally, like your own language, you do not think about it.

You are unconsciously competent, it’s autopilot. If I ask you, can you tie your shoelaces, you bend over and you tie your shoelaces without thinking, you have acquired a high level of self-confidence thanks to experience.

Mark of gratitude

Receiving marks of gratitude, enables anyone to acquire a great deal of self-confidence likewise. Remind you when you were little, if your parents gave you a crowd of signs of recognition, encouragement, their behaviour then have helped you expand your self-confidence, for your entire life.

It turns out to be that during your childhood, if you were used to receiving countless signs of recognition or none of them, as a result your self-confidence today is logically high or low.

In fact, your childhood, your education, your parents, your teachers, your entourage, and so forth have given you the chance to get a great self-confidence or nothing whatsoever. Self-consciousness stems from your childwood and does not help you at all increase your self-confidence.

What can be done in order to expand self-confidence?

First as I have just said, you must develop your “experience”. The more you work on it the better and the faster it is. Do what you have to do in your domain, learn more, follow through and never give up, your self-confidence is bound to step up. Do it on a daily basis and you will soon reap the benefit of it.

Remind you when you first got dressed, or when you first learnt how to go cycling. At first you were not confident at all, you were maybe afraid of doing certain things but step by step your self-confidence increased. Therefore you became confident as well as competent.

In a nutshell, when you do things automatically, you are confident, think it over.

There is a whole slew of things you do automatically, driving home, walking, speaking your own language, eating, plenty of other things, you do not think about it any longer, it is automatic. In doing so over and over again you have built a high level of self-confidence.

Experience means TAKE ACTION right now, even if you are NOT proficient or confident yet. You want to learn a foreign language? Take action, take the plunge, and experience will make skills, proficiency and self-confidence occur all a long, it is how it works.

If you are not confident it stands for you doubt, in order to handle that, you then need more faith and more action:

MORE FAITH AND MORE ACTION  =  MORE COMPETENCE  =  MORE CONFIDENCE

It is called confidence competence loop.

Another powerful technique: use you positive past.

Constantly acknowledge your positive past, it develops high level of confidence. Write down what you have successfully accomplished and you feel as a fulfillment, read it regularly.

Another tip, is knowing what you want and tell others what you want and what you do not want, it is another key. You have to say what you THINK (politely and with diplomacy), assert yourself.

In that way people are going to see you differently, by telling them what you want and what you think, you are going to improve your self-confidence. Above and beyond, self-confidence does beget self-confidence.

I would like to give you some additional useful tools, one of them is your physiology and your posture. Physiology first, if you are in good shape, with a high level of energy you are more likely to succeed.

Energy will make you succeed and acquire confidence likewise, it will give you more positive and powerful emotions, and positive emotions will make you do anything you want with the right attitude (motivation, perseverance, determination, desire…)

Here are some different things you have to implement, and you will get much more confident. Remember that self-confidence is endless, during your entire life you have to enhance it.

We have seen together there are a few simple techniques to do and to apply, it is not rocket science, thus just do it and you will see great results.

Ta-ta for now

Take care

F&F Consulting
Communication Marketing Consulting

“Follow your dreams believe in yourself – your life will never be the same”

Cet article What is self-confidence and how to increase it? est apparu en premier sur F&F Consulting.

What I am going to address today is the recipe of success. I have taken part in several coaching programmes and personal development programmes so I am going to unveil this useful and helpful guide.

Everything begins with a belief: your beliefs come from your childhood what you have learnt with your parents, at school and they depend on how you have been brought up, your education, your life, and so forth. Of course you have some positive beliefs and some negative ones. Your positive beliefs make you move forward and the negative ones hold you back. Remember that our beliefs give us the power to fail or succeed.

Henry Ford said this way: “If you think you can or if you think you can’t either way you’re right” 

Our success in life depends on a simple recipe, here it is:

POTENTIAL           →           ACTION

↑                                            ↓

BELIEFS              ←        RESULTS

How does it work?

If you believe that you are not going to reach a goal, an exam or anything else your potential and your resources will not be boosted and stimulated so you will not take much action so your results will not be impressive, therefore it will strengthen your initial negative belief.

As a result you reinforce your negative belief which means your potential is not stimulated again so your action is less than ever before your results are worse and so on. The common saying is “I told you it would not work” and you are right, you have stimulated your brain to believe that it will not work and that is what has happened to you.

In that way this diagram is called the vicious circle.

However action is not as significant as you might think and it does not guarantee your success. Why? Because for instance if you wish to sell something and all day long you knock on hundreds doors without enthusiasm, without the right attitude, you are bound to sell nothing whatsoever. Your results will be poorer and your beliefs about your products will be worse and worse.

FAILURE DOES BREED FAILURE

The key: it is your BELIEFS

In that way when your beliefs are strong about the dream, the goal you really wish to achieve, guess what?

You are going to use and stimulate your inner full potential and then your action will be better with more enthusiasm therefore your results will be better and in the end your results strengthen your initial beliefs, and it continues on and on, your potential is more stimulated and so on… You are going to believe more deeply in your success with more energy more desire, your outcome will be extraordinary then. That is how it truly works.

In that way this diagram is called the virtuous circle.

SUCCESS DOES BREED SUCCESS

SUCCESS DOES BUILD CONFIDENCE

The next stage is how can I change my negative beliefs in positive ones. We will see that in a future post.

Remember the recipe we have seen today, work on your beliefs first and change the vicious circle to a virtuous circle, you are on the verge of success.

“Follow your dreams believe in yourself – your life will never be the same”

Take care

F&F Consulting
Communication Marketing Consulting

Cet article The recipe of success inspired by Anthony Robbins est apparu en premier sur F&F Consulting.